What tips or advice would you give a man on initiating sex?
Veronica: There are a lot of things a man can do to initiate sex. One tip I would give (because it’s been a recurring thing in my personal life): giving a back massage does not mean you’ll be having sex 15 minutes later - for some reason men always think it leads to that!
Tara: Woo me. The right words and kissing is all it takes.
Holly: Make a woman feel sexy, and you’ll get her more turned on than just going in for a lame boob or butt grab. Compliment her, and tell her how much you desire her.
What is the best way you’ve been seduced by a lover?
Veronica: Honestly, it started with a few hours of intelligent conversation and led to him saying, “just relax” … and taking care of everything while I just enjoyed myself!
Tara: A backrub. He knew my back hurt so he massaged it and then at the end he started kissing me down my back. It was incredibly sexy.
Holly: A prepared bubble bath and a backrub. Works every time. (Sorry Veronica, but it’s true).
What is the worst move a guy has tried to pull on you?
Veronica: The worst thing a guy has pulled is trying to have anal without even a discussion beforehand; he didn’t even know whether or not I was into it - it led to me kicking him out of bed.
Tara: One guy thought I would have sex with him only because he took a Viagra.
Holly: Ugh. I hate when guys go right for touching or going down on you when you’re not even remotely turned on. It’s just uncomfortable.
Want more tips on how to seduce her? Check out how to initiate sex so she says yes.
I recently wrote about the 30 sexual experiences women should have before 30 (or after 30, but the sexual experiences that seemed valuable and worthwhile ), and I thought it would only be fair to create a similar list for men. Since I’m not a penis-carrying member of the species, I’ve begrudgingly solicited the input from my male friends, knowing that I’ll be bombarded with requests for facials, threesomes, anal sex, and possibly bestiality, or at least something to do with cougars. Below is the list we compiled from our collective wisdom.
1. Make a woman orgasm. Don’t settle for faking.
2. Get an amazing blowjob. You deserve it.
3. Take a finger in the butt. Confront all your homophobic and germophobic fears, and either dig in while masturbating, or let your brave partner do it.
4. Have a one night stand. Have one night of no strings attached sex, and while you’re at it, practice being cool and respectful about it.
5. Make love. Really be present, attentive, and vulnerable while having sex with someone, just like in the movies.
6. Ask for feedback. Don’t blindly go down her pants like an awkward teenager. Man up and ask how and where she likes to be touched.
7. Have sex in public. Have sex, or some form of sex play, in public, whether it be in the woods or in da club.
8. Share a sexual fantasy. Share a sexual fantasy you have with a partner, instead of letting it waste away inside.
9. Read erotica. They say that men are visual, but try to read some erotica to see if it gets you hot. Do it with a partner for double the fun.
10. Know female genitalia. The vagina is not the mysterious beyond; get a working knowledge of the clit, the inner and outer lips, the vagina, and the g spot.
11. Sleep with a much older woman. I knew cougars would come up. The older, more experienced woman is a classic fantasy … live it.
12. Sleep with a much younger woman. Ok, not much younger, we’re not advocating pedophilia. But a younger woman is also a classic fantasy, too. Just remember Dan Savage’s campfire rule.
13. Lick a butthole. Seriously. Surprise each other and toss her salad.
14. Get woken up with a blowjob. You’ll have to be a very good boy, or live with a morning person for this, but definitely a good experience to have before 30.
15. Trim your pubes. Grooming is not just for the ladies – get to manscaping.
16. Have sex with someone out of your league – in either direction.
17. Make a woman cum with no expectation of reciprocation. You will feel like a real man, and she will adore you for it.
18. Give someone a facial. Ah, the facial. It’s an inexplicable fantasy to me, but just do it and get it over with. Kidding. Some women are into it.
19. Have cybersex. If you haven’t had cybersex by age 30, then you probably came of age when there were still rotary phones and VCRs.
20. Mutual masturbation. Masturbate with someone – it satisfies all voyeur, exhibitionist, and instructional requirements. And it’s fun.
21. Be a safety guy. Find condoms that you like, carry them always, and don’t skip it because she seems “clean.”
22. Have a threesome or orgy. It may be all that you fantasized about, or it may be intimidating and lonely, but either way, give it a try.
23. Get over penis size. By this time, you should come to terms with your penis, however big or small, straight or crooked. There’s no magic pill or exercise or surgery that will give you porn star stature, but if you do the other 29 things on this list, your penis is working just fine for you.
24. Know how to turn a woman on. Often men are frustrated because they initiate sex in a way that doesn’t turn a woman on. Know how to turn her on so she gets in the mood.
25. Make a homemade porn. Make a porn, or just have a hot photo shoot. Then commit to never putting it up on the internet, especially out of revenge.
26. Just cuddle. Take the pressure to have sex off of yourself (and your partner), and just cuddle for a night.
27. Get punched in face while fucking. What can I say? My friends are really into Californication.
28. Go to a sex toy shop. Some men are threatened by sex toys, but they shouldn’t be. If you think of sex toys as the tools in your workshop of sex magic, you can make a woman really happy.
29. Have a masturbation repertoire. Don’t jack it the same way all the time (you know, in the shower in 30 seconds). Masturbate in different ways, using different pressure, pace, and textures (fine, you can steal a g-friend’s satin panties) in order to train your cock to respond to different sensations.
30. Pay attention to your sex life. Don’t go on autopilot once you have sex that you like. Keep learning, exploring, pushing your boundaries to keep your sex life exciting and to keep your partners happy, or you’ll wake up one day and find that sex has gotten boring. Don’t be the dude who constantly relives his high school football glory days, listens to Daughtry, and only has missionary sex on Fridays.
