Sex, Food, and Booze: Can We Have It All?

Last week I mused about how difficult it is to have sex on Thanksgiving, and it got me wondering if we can ever really have it all when it comes to bodily pleasures. George Costanza, in Seinfeld, also dared to ask if he could have it all: “Food and sex, those are my two passions. It’s only natural to combine them.”

When I think of hedonism, I think of its inventors, the ancient Greeks, who I imagine drank wine with abandon, ate varieties of food, and fucked just about everything. They really seemed to know how to party. When I try to do all of the above, I don’t have the same success rate. I get too drunk to eat, to full too fuck, or too fucked to do anything else. And I don’t think I’m alone.

My epicurean friends have shared tales of romantic dinners that involve 6 courses paired with wines. Unfortunately, those romantic dinners most often end up with them passed out on the couch with a Dylan track on repeat, never with sex. In contrast, friends that are getting the most action right now could only be described as anorexic, or at least don’t have tastes that extend beyond cereal and grilled cheese sandwiches. It seems that the pursuit of casual sex doesn’t leave much time for meals. Finally, my friends who drink the most, well, they end up in fights more than sexual situations. Especially when they don’t eat.

Costanza ultimately found that pure hedonism couldn’t last: “I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.” Sex, food, and booze are like the turducken - three things that sound great together, but might be best enjoyed separately. Perhaps we’re just not designed to overindulge all our senses at the same time, but it sure would be nice.