Tara Riley is a guest blogger on Whoopie School. She lives in Pennsylvania.
I’ve known my best friend and closest confidant for 18 years now. We met in kindergarten and I’ve watched her grow into a remarkable young woman. The surprise: she’s a lesbian. I totally understand what could drive any open-minded woman into a relationship with another woman; personally, I’ve been through the ringer with the men I’ve dated. But I’m just not built that way. While Marie’s sometimes mockingly expresses disappointment, I know she accepts me just the way I am. I only wish the same for her, but sadly we have a long way to go before my best friend finds true acceptance in our society.
Many people wonder and ask how I can be so close with a lesbian without sexuality being a factor. The truth is simple: it just isn’t. I’ve also been asked if Marie has ever hit on me; and no, she has never hit on me. She knows I’m straight, so to her that would just be a waste of time. Honestly, I just don’t understand how so many people can be so closed-minded about other people’s sexual orientation. It just doesn’t make sense.
Some of my own family are the worst offenders, and even believe that federal law should say that marriage should be between a man and a woman. But really, why do they care so much? How does it negatively affect their lives? I think of Marie in those moments, being denied the right to marry someone, an act that so many other people take for granted. It’s not as if the gay community is trying to undermine straight marriages; they just want the same legal rights and protections afforded to other couples who love each other. Unfortunately, gay people are looked down upon just for being who they are.
Perhaps we all could be more tolerant and respectful of those around us. I want that for Marie. Love is love, and more weddings only means one thing: more cake.
Image courtesy of hyberbolic pants used under Creative Commons.
5 comments ↓
i completely agree. I think that everyone should have the same rights. I think people that don’t agree are not confident in their own sexuality. I also agree that they are not negativly effected by two people that are of the same sex getting married.
I watched Obama on TV tonight. He wants to allow gay people to have civil unions so they can have the same rights as married folk. This makes me very excited for Marie!
@Shannon As a married person, I have no idea how gay marriage effects the validity of my straight marriage in any way. In fact, the divorce rate among heterosexual couples makes it totally justifiable for people to say to me that I will likely get divorced - the “sacred” institute of marriage that people are trying to “protect” isn’t all that sacred. Equal legal rights are sacred, however, and should be available to everyone.
Thanks for your comment!
@Tara While I think federally-recognized civil unions are a step in the right direction, I still feel it’s unfair if gay couples can’t marry. There should be a distinction in the legal definition of marriage and the religious one.
Thanks for bringing up this topic for us - you rock!
@ Holly: You’re totally right that federally-recognized civil unions would only be a step in the right direction, but it would still be very exciting, if we could just get there. I mean, I can go out and marry any man I want, and like you said, marriage is not all that sacred anymore. I could turn around three days later and divorce him if I so wanted. That doesn’t sound very sacred to me at all!
Someday, when I do get married, I will be in love. And if something goes wrong, I want that man I love to be there to hold my hand. If I’m sick and in the hospital, I want to see his face. And maybe because I have gay friends, but I can understand why a woman would fall in love with another woman. And when Marie gets there someday, I would love for her to have her partner in the hospital with her when she’s sick and scared, and all the other things that we take for granted as heteros.
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