Yes, Your Sex Life IS That Boring

Holly recently wrote about a common complaint among many of the couples we talk to: boredom in the bedroom. In her post, she postulates that perhaps they are not truly bored, but instead they have been mislead by the media, manipulated by mainstream porn, and rick rolled by “reality” TV. I, on the other hand, think that is total shite (like they say in England) - people are bored with their sex lives because they have boring sex lives.

While the images on television may not portray the everyday sex lives of people, that doesn’t mean that they do not tap into or represent something sexual within us. So if seeing sex on the screen makes you dissatisfied with your sex life, it probably means your sex life is boring.

As an analogy, let’s take basketball. The NBA represents the very best of the very best, taking the top .03% (numbers vary depending on source, but you get the idea) of the athlete pool and in no way portrays the everyday pickup games of people. However, I watch the NBA, during which the media saturates me with images of “what basketball should look like.”

So if it’s actually the media commercializing only a very select non-representative group of elite athletes, does that mean that I am not actually horrible at basketball, and that it’s just my self-image that i have to work on? NO, clearly not. I suck at basketball because I suck at basketball. Watching the NBA only reinforces that fact.

Secondly, many of these people turn out to be bored in comparison to previous sexual experiences they have had. By comparing their current sex lives to past sexual experiences, a person decides which was better or worse, more fun or less, exciting or boring.

Just as I don’t believe that video games cause gun violence and Marilyn Manson doesn’t drive people to suicide, TV doesn’t make you bored with your sex life. Your boring sex life does.