Tips for College One Night Stands

Eric* was the first. It was a wild night, starting with a party and ending with a hangover. But he was the beginning of a whirlwind of one night stands. Not long after there was Randy, months later I met Dean, and there was that one night with Brendan. Every time had its own special circumstances leading up to the magic, but they all had the same result: either he or I running out of the door and carrying on with our own lives before the sun could show our faces.

It is normal to have sexual needs, but sometimes the conventional courtship doesn’t quite fit into college life like we would want it to. When aren’t writing papers or studying, we are working our asses off to make enough money to buy the books and supplies that we use in the classes that tell us to write papers and study. And, yeah, there’s the partying that goes on, too. The American dream of settling down, buying a house, and having a couple juniors running around is in the distance at this point in time. It could be years before we are ready for any of those things.

Like any normal, young, hormonal people, we all have itches that need a good scratching.  So when temptation calls (or when enough alcohol has been consumed) and we get in our “special mood”, it’s sometimes easiest to grab the closest person and make more magic than Criss Angel.

One night stands can be loads of fun as well as gratifying, but there are some one night stand rules that should be kept in mind to ensure that each experience is full of pleasure, not pain or awkwardness.

• Don’t have one with anyone from any clubs, sports teams, or classes that you are deeply involved in. Whether it’s your psych class crush or your roommate’s cousin that you see eight times a day, it can get messy. If you’re dealing frequently with the person that you slept with, feelings are going to get involved. Either that, or your friends will wonder why you get that sickened look on your face every time you return from track practice. Mixing school and play can be tricky, so be cautious how you tread.

• Don’t let everybody get a turn.  It’s all too easy to get comfy with a group of friends. Pick the ones you hook up with carefully. They will compare and contrast stories, and no one wants to be the group bike. You should only let one of them ride. (Ok, 2. But that’s only if they’re hot.) Remember: College is like a huge high school and stories will spread fast.

• DO follow up. Guys, this is for you. Miss Manners can’t take care of this. You are the best judge of things. If all went well, don’t hesitate to invite your midnight lover for a quick lunch between classes. But if you aren’t feeling the chemistry, at least walk her back to the dorm. Only a douche dumps a girl without at least doing that much. You’ve been there, or you will be there, so try and keep karma on your side.

• DO use protection. Not to be the high school health teacher, but let’s use our noggins and put on a condom. Nobody wants to contract an STD or end up pregnant from a hook up, and you just can’t believe it when someone says they’re clean. Like I said, college is like a blown up high school, so if you’re spreading something, people are going to gossip about it. I don’t want to hear stories about Queen Clap in the quiet of the library, so wrap it up.

• DO be honest and communicate. If you’re engaging in casual sex, then you should be at the maturity level where you can talk about sex. If you are looking for a casual thing, tell the other person - don’t manipulate them into bed with false promises. If the other person isn’t touching you in a way that will get you off, show them how. These flings are a chance to learn about yourself and how to be a respectful, attentive lover.

I am not promoting random sex all day, every day. I’m just saying that it happens, and if you’re going to be getting it on, go into it with the right frame of mind. Hopefully these one night stand tips will keep you out of any messy situations.

* Names have been changed.