Shut Your O Face

Whenever I watch sex in movies, especially porn, I’m always left with one burning question: why the fuck are the women so loud? The guy she’s having sex with is typically quiet and stoic, with the occasional grimace of what can only be described as pain on his face, while the woman is screaming in alleged ecstasy. Just shut up already!

Fine, I get that in real life, it’s erotic and primal both to make and hear those little moans of mounting pleasure, but I think there’s something unfair about the portrayal that women should be overwhelmed to the point of screaming during intercourse while the men just handle their pleasure. It sets up the expectation (oh, here I go again) that the sexual experience is somehow different for women and men, which there really isn’t any evidence of. Physiologically speaking, orgasms aren’t very different for men and women. Further, only about 30% of women can achieve orgasm through intercourse alone. The notion that sex is more pleasurable for women is ridiculous.

Further, these misleading portrayals of sexual pleasure create pressure on both men and women to perform. For the ladies, the imagery of women writhing in pleasure is hard to take if that isn’t what your experience with intercourse is, which, for many, it’s not. And even those that who do enjoy intercourse can be left wondering what the hell there is to scream about. I get that there are natural screamers out there, but there are also a number of women who have perfected the sounds of orgasming without actually ever doing so. The limited way that female pleasure is represented can make women feel inadequate or deficient if they don’t experience the same thing, and reluctant to ask for the kind of stimulation they require.

It simultaneously creates a lot of pressure for men to give women that pleasure during intercourse. I can’t imagine the let down it must be to have a woman moaning and groaning during penetrative sex, only to find out she didn’t orgasm. How confusing is that? Men can feel threatened or insecure if a woman needs a vibrator or oral stimulation to orgasm, because, you know, Sharon Stone seemed to like dick so much in that movie.

Orgasm intensity is biological (I’m wicked sensitive/meh, don’t feel so much right there), situational (I am REALLY in the mood/I could be warmed up), temporal (this is amazing RIGHT NOW/I’m just waking up and not that sensitive), but not gender-based (amazing for vaginas/okay for penises). It would nice to see a male-female sex scene that doesn’t show him giving her pleasure, and therefore having the upperhand. Sex should be mutually enjoyable, with both partners giving and receiving pleasure. And is it too much to ask that he scream her name every once in a while?