In a Bit of a Dull Spell?

Have you ever:

• Thought about covering your lover in chocolate sauce and whipped cream and licking it up for dessert, only to decide to eat Oreos instead?

• Wanted to film yourselves having sex, but then decided to watch re-runs of CSI: Miami?

• Fantasized about having hot sex when you got home from work, only to fall asleep on the couch?

Then you, my friend, are in a bit of a “dull spell.” Not a dry spell, no, just dull. If you have a lot of fantasies and desires that you’re not acting out, or you simply are in the rut of formulaic sex, then your sex life probably seems lacking. It’s time to stop settling for a quick orgasm during Letterman commercials and start getting crazy creative in the bedroom.

Image by flickr user margolove used under Creative Commons license.

Dullness is like a disease that slowly spreads and kills everything in its path. Whether it started with your sex life, or your lovemaking just fell prey to pervasive dullness, don’t let the infection keep spreading. Break the dull spell.  Here are three tips:

• Take turns taking the lead. Take turns with your partner creating a unique or creative sexual experience. It takes the burden off of both of you to be inspired, and gives one of you the chance to set up a fantasy scenario to spice things up.

• Make a game of it. On slips of paper, write 5 things that you want to do to your partner, or have the other person do to you. Take turns pulling the slips out of a hat. Perform for one minute, then switch. It could be a striptease, a blowjob, a spanking, anything you can think of. This game breaks up the monotonous foreplay ritual many of us get stuck in.

• Dress up for each other. It’s hard to imagine yourself as a sex god or goddess when you’re hanging out in your gym clothes after a long day, so it’s then easier to settle for less-than-amazing sex. Instead, make time to get into your sexiest persona by dressing the part, whether you get dressed up to stay in or to go out.

Once you go from dull to dazzling sex, you won’t want to go back.