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If you want to pleasure your partner with your hands, the first thing you should do is not take the term “fingering” literally. That’s because the whole pubic region on a woman is rich with nerves and brings pleasure through touch, not just the vagina. If you want to please a woman, get out your high school anatomy notes and read up on the mons (pubic mound), the outer and inner labia, the clitoris, and perineum. It’s doesn’t have to be scary; it just means that there are more ways to masturbate her than you probably thought.
The second tip is to be gentle with your touches. A common complaint among women is that men are too rough with their most delicate parts. It’s always a safe bet to start off gentle and have her ask for it harder.
Fingering Basics
- Foreplay means before genitals. Before you even head down her pants, make sure she is ready. That means knowing the basics of foreplay tips for men and teasing before you get there. Turn her on by complimenting her sexiness, kissing, and touching her everywhere but her genitals.
- Take your time. As your hand approaches, take some time to caress her inner thighs and hips. Touch her over her panties. Or place your open hand over her pubic mound and use medium pressure and massage in a circular motion before you part her lips.
- Touch her labia and clit.. When she’s ready, gently start touching her inner lips and clitoris. Using the pad of your middle or index finger, make a long motion upward from her perineum to her clit. Some women like quick, light pressure right on the clit, others like longer strokes. Experiment, but start gently and be attentive to feedback.
- Insert finger in her vagina. Women tend to enjoy vaginal sensations after they’ve have some clitoral stimulation, so no need to rush to penetration. Insert the tip of your middle or index finger inside her, up to the first knuckle. Move in a circular motion or in a shallow in–and–out movement. This is especially pleasurable if you touch her clit with your thumb while you’re inside her.
- Don’t focus on orgasm too much. Some women may orgasm easily from manual stimulation, others may not orgasm at all. Don’t put pressure on her or yourself to make it happen. Instead, check in with her to see if she likes what you are doing, and if doing the same thing is going to bring her closer to climax. For many women, changing the pace and pressure frequently is like hitting the reset button – you have to go all the way back to the start to work towards orgasm. Remember, the goal is pleasure, so as long as she feels good, you’re doing a good job.
These tips are a good start, but the best person to tell you how she likes to be fingered is her! Check in with your partner to see if she likes what you are doing, or ask her to show you how she likes to be touched. If you approach giving fingering a woman with playfulness and an open-mind, you will be a master in no time.
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