It was a perfect date. He picked a romantic restaurant with a great view, conversation was smooth and easy, and the chemistry was intense. Did I mention he was sexy as hell? As Mr. Sexy and I shared a dessert, I began to think about the other "dessert" of the evening - the goodnight kiss. As he walked me to my car, the anticipation for a kiss was dizzying. Would he make a move? How amazing would it be?
Well, it was amazing. Amazingly bad. He leaned me against my car, put his arm around my waist, and then proceeded to dart his tongue in and out of my mouth at about 60 RPMs. No gentle nibbles, soft lip caresses, light tongue flicks. Just tongue in my mouth like a woodpecker on a tree.
Needless to say, we did not go out again. And studies suggest that the Mr. Sexy is not alone; 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women lose all attraction after a bad kiss.
The perfect kiss can be indescribable, a transcendent moment that takes you out of your body and totally in it at the same time. You feel like you are in the movies, and the world is twinkling all around you.
A bad kiss, on the other hand, has a number of descriptors - sloppy, wet, gaggy, toothy, stinky. While everyone has different ideas on the perfect kiss, there is consensus about what makes a bad kiss.
Are you Making These Bad Kissing Mistakes?
To be a contender in landing the perfect kiss, here are some things to avoid.
- Kissing too fast. Anticipation is one of the key ingredients to a great kiss. Don't go in for it tongue-first. Begin with eye-gazing, light touches, and then gentle kissing on the lips before you go French.
- Teeth-banging. An occasional tooth bump is going to happen. However, if you find that you are banging into someone's teeth quite a bit, take a deep breath, try to calm yourself, and then lean back a bit. You're probably just getting into it and leaning into the other person too much.
- Bad breath. Bad breath is the ultimate kiss killer. To avoid it, practice good oral hygiene regularly, and carry mints or gum for freshening.
- Slobbery kissing. Not many people enjoy the slobbery kisses of middle school days, certainly not in a first kiss. Too avoid being a sloppy kisser, make sure to swallow as you normally would. Take mini breaks from open-mouth kissing and switch to a little lip action to make swallowing easier.
- Too much tongue. Too much tongue is a common kissing complaint, especially among women for whom penetration isn't their ultimate goal. When using your tongue, gently explore your partner's tongue and mouth. Use a soft tongue rather than a pointy one, and vary your intensity and depth. The tonsil hockey tournament can wait for another session; keep you tongue in check during the first kiss.
- Too repetitive. If you are experiencing cramping and numbness, you've probably been too repetitive in your kiss. A variety in intensity is nice in a kiss; remember to switch up using tongue versus lips, deep penetration versus light tongue play, and leaning in versus playing hard to get.
Avoid these kissing mistakes, and you'll have a better chance of making it to date two, when you will have a lot more time figuring out the perfect kiss.
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