Whoopie School

"The whole time a guy is touching me, all I can think about is, 'he must think I'm so fat!' I refuse to have sex with the lights on ... I'm just so uncomfortable with my body."

Is Your Body Image Ruining Your Sex Life?

When you look in the mirror, do you immediately look at all of your imperfections, the parts of your body you don't like? When he says "nice ass," do you cringe at the thought that he just looked at your butt? When you're having sex, do you insist on having the lights off or refuse to be on top so he can't see your tummy roll? Or worse, do you avoid sex so he doesn't see you body?

I know what it's like to struggle with body image and sex. I used to hide my thighs under the covers, balk at the idea of sex from behind, or just avoid being intimate altogether. No matter how much I wanted to have sex, I would go to great lengths to hide my THIGHS and STRETCHMARKS and CELLULITE. I focused so much on hiding my flaws, that I didn't enjoy the moment of sexual pleasure and intimacy.

I know I am not alone. Women everywhere struggle with issues of body image and sex. And I'm talking about ALL KINDS OF WOMEN - skinny women, fat women, tall women, short women, women of all ages and ethnicities and education levels. That is because we are held to an unrealistic standard of physical beauty that we all buy into. And it is making us all MISERABLE.

Did you know that 21% of women can't name a single body part that they like about themselves? How can you expect to have an enjoyable sex life when you can't enjoy one thing about your body?

Researchers have studied all the things that contribute to women's sexual desire, including menopause and sexual functioning, and found that the LEADING FACTOR to women enjoying their sex lives is BODY IMAGE.

Think about that for a moment. The "ideal body image," which is manufactured by the fashion and entertainment industries, is RUINING YOUR SEX LIFE. Doesn't that make you angry?

It makes me angry. You've been missing out on enjoying what is perfectly natural and healthy because you've been trained to dislike your body. That's why I'm going to give you three tips that you can try right now to improve you body image and sexual pleasure.

Love 3 Things About Your Body. Stand in front of the mirror and get undressed. Instead of going through the same, tired monologue about hating your thighs or your belly, focus on your three favorite spots. It could be the hint of freckles on your nose, the elegant way your collarbone sticks out, the softness of your skin. Once you've picked your three things, make your eyes to go to those spots FIRST. Every time you look in the mirror, start by looking at those three things, and you'll begin to re-train your brain to look at your best features first.

Showcase Your Assets. Next time you want to feel extra sexy, pick one or all of your favorite spots on your body, and show them off. If you picked the softness of your skin, wear cuddly fabrics that begged to be touched, and let that special someone touch you and find that great skin. By showing off your best features, you'll feel better about the body image YOU are choosing to present and you'll let others know it.

Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone In Bed. I'm not talking about anything too kinky ... yet. We're talking about body image and sex, so I want you to pick one hang-up that you have during sex, and let it go. For example, if you don't have sex with the lights on, compromise with a little flattering candlelight, and just see how it feels. It might be very erotic for you to see your lover and how much he enjoys your body. You might actually FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF immediately!

These are just a few of the steps it will take to undo all the damage that having negative body image has had on your sex life. But the GOOD NEWS is that I'm here to help you along the way.

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