Whoopie School

"There are things that you can do to turn her on RIGHT NOW, but also things you can do to develop a PASSIONATE SEX LIFE over time."

How To Turn Her On ...
and On and On

In the beginning of a relationship, a mere glance at each other is all it takes to want to rip off each other's clothes. Over time, that passion and intensity can fade, which drives you to read Cosmo or watch Oprah for tips to get that fire back. But women aren't all that mysterious, and there are no secret tricks to turn a woman on.

For many women, arousal is made up of two simple things: physical arousal and emotional connection. Men tend to focus on physical arousal, but you have to work on BOTH components to turn her on if you're in a relationship. You can turn a woman on physically by saying the right thing or touching her the right way, and you can build a strong foundation of trust and connection to keep the passion and intensity in your sex life.

In other words, there are things that you can do to turn her on RIGHT NOW, but also things you can do to develop a PASSIONATE SEX LIFE over time.

We've put together our favorite tips on how to turn her on - no secrets here. Just simple, real actions you can take to get that passion and heat in your sex life. If you're trying to figure out how to get her in the mood by the end of an episode of LOST, check out the direct turn-ons. If you want to build a slow burn to keep the heat and intensity in your sex life, then check out the indirect turn-ons. Both are part of the picture to keep the desire and passion in your relationship.

How to Turn Her On: Atmosphere

Direct Turn-On: Create Sexy Ambiance. If you want to get her in the mood right now, light some candles, put on some sexy music, and sprinkle rose petals on the bed. Engage as many of her senses as you can in the moment, and you'll block out all the distractions that are keeping her from being in touch with her arousal.

Indirect Turn-On: Help Out With Chores. Do women get wet at the sight of men doing dishes? No, not exactly, but if she's feeling particularly overworked and underappreciated, your helping hand is not only shortening her to-do list, but also giving her the space to get in the mood. If her excuse for avoiding sex is "this place is a mess," then help yourself out and pitch in. Don't live together? Put away the leftover takeout after you gorge on Chinese food. It demonstrates a comfort level with her place and that you're a helpful lad.

How to Turn Her On: Communication

Direct Turn-On: Compliment Her Sexiness. Tell her how sexy she is to you in that moment, whether it's "your ass looks amazing in that dress" or "you look adorable even with crusty eyes." Remember the threes S's when it comes to compliments: sincerity, specificity, and sexy. Using the three S's, you'd avoid "you're hot!" and try "That shade of blue brings out your fuck-me eyes."

Indirect Turn-On: Share How She Affects You. Contrary to what the movies suggest, "you complete me" isn't always followed by sex, but that kind of emotion and openness does create a bond that breeds sexual intimacy. If you are newly dating, it can be as simple as "I'm really glad I met someone as funny as you." If you are in a long-term relationship, think about how she has affected you over time, like "I really appreciate how you've taught me to be more sensitive to others." Maybe she'll jump you right there, or maybe you'll just make her smile and give her warm tingly feelings about your relationship, but either way you are laying the groundwork for a passionate relationship.

How to Turn Her On: Physical Touch

Direct Turn-On: Suggestive Touch. Whatever stage your relationship is in, a little suggestive touch is a turn-on for her, especially when it is a little forbidden - like when you "accidentally" brush the back of your hand against her breast as you hand her a drink. Suggestive touch is subtle and sensual, it is not a boob grab or an ass slap. Dust off your flirting skills and put them to use in your relationship - remember the fuck me stare, the whisper in the ear, your hand on her waist, lightly tracing your fingers on the inside of thigh under the table. These suggestive caresses will turn her on before the real foreplay begins.

Indirect Turn-On: Cuddling. Cuddling, or any comforting, non-sexual touch like hand-holding or backrubs, makes her feel safe, comforted, and warm. Some good cuddling time could be the slow burn that flames into hot sex, or it can be the prelude to the perfect nap. Either way, the physical closeness and comfort are key ingredients to how to turn her on.

How to Turn Her On: Gifts

Direct Turn-On: Lingerie. Sometimes a gift "just because" is just the thing to turn her on, especially when that gift is sexual in nature. Lingerie that she will look great in is a win-win. She will feel super-sexy, you will get a visual treat, and sex will ensue. Ditto for the right sex toy or accessory - be it a vibrator, luscious lube, or sensual massage oil.

Indirect Turn-On: Mixed Tape. Ok, so no one really makes tapes these days, but come up with a theme and put together a playlist just for her. It could be songs from memories you share, or songs that make you think of her, or even songs that you want to have sex to with her, the key thing is that you give it some thought. She'll see your thoughtfulness, and you'll have sex to every song ... sooner or later.

How to Turn Her On: Dates

Direct Turn-On: Salsa Class. The pounding rhythm, the sensual curves, bodies against bodies - salsa dancing is hot. It's a great turn-on date idea because it is physical and there is a lot of body contact, so it is great preparation for the horizontal dance later on. Other good turn-on activities are rock-climbing, pottery-making, wine-tasting - any physical or sensual date that works up a sweat or turns on the romance will do.

Indirect Turn-On: Family Picnic. So we all have family obligations during which we're subjected to crazy relatives - why not make it more fun by going together? Bringing her to one of your family affairs will give her insight into who you are and where you come from, and perhaps why you're so weird, which will help her feel more connected to you. Tagging along for one of her family functions allows her to see how sweet you are to her grandmother and how tolerant you are of her neurotic mother - she will appreciate the moral support. Who knows, it might be the perfect time to sneak off for a stress-relief quickie, but if not, you are officially bonded after crazy family time. Other dates you can try are a cooking class, trivia night, or a game of pool - dates in which you can laugh, interact, and humiliate yourselves in front of each other are good for bonding, and bonding is good for sex.

Now that you know how to turn her on in a number of ways, you can see why the "wanna do it?" five seconds before hasn't been working. Give these tips a try to keep the passion in your sex life.

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