Vacation Sex: Sex Etiquette When Staying with Friends and Family

It’s summertime and you’re on vacation - relaxed, feeling frisky, and . . . wondering what the “rules” are about having sex at friends’ and families’ houses. Now, I’m not sure what Ann Landers would say, but we’ve had enough experiences this summer to draw some conclusions of our own.

• If you’re crashing with a single guy . . . Guys always seem the least squeamish when it comes to sex. While staying at a single guy friend’s house for a bonfire, he just came out and said, “I don’t care if you have sex in my bed. In fact, I hope you do.” Chances are you and your guy friend can have a pretty frank conversation about sex at his pad. He may just ask to watch.

• Staying with a single woman . . . Women are notoriously complicated, so we wouldn’t dare make a general rule about all single women. Recently, while staying at a girlfriend’s apartment in Boston, Jason prodded her about sex at her place. She awkwardly replied, “Ew. I don’t care what you do, I just don’t want to know about it.” Hmm - the old “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. If you have some privacy and your girlfriend isn’t likely to overhear, that might just be the best advice to follow.

• Staying with a couple . . . If you’re staying with a couple, chances are at least one woman is involved. We suggest following the same advice as above (as if you were staying with a single woman). If you have some privacy, go for yours, quietly, of course.

• Staying with family . . . We never did work up the courage to ask my mother-in-law her feelings on it (thankfully), but the sleepover at a family member’s home is always tricky. Usually, parents have houses that can accommodate sex while visiting (i.e. your old room), and the risk of getting caught can be a turn-on. The downside, of course, is the possibility of getting caught, which can revert even the most adventurous couple back to feeling like awkward adolescents. Proceed with caution, just like you did when you were 16.