When the DIY Lap Dance Goes Wrong
Wednesday, January 14th, 2009“Make your dress all wet and send it to me . . .”
I have this long-held fantasy of being a burlesque dancer. In this fantasy, my signature song is “Cactus” by The Pixies. I’m wearing cowboy boots, a white linen sundress, white panties underneath. My dance is a cross between Butterfly’s lap dance in Grindhouse - Death Proof with a dash of the water scene in Flashdance.
Given how many times this has played out in my head, I thought I’d be a natural at the lap dance. This proved to be grossly untrue when, during a little sex game, I was asked to give a lap dance. It. was. Awkward. I don’t get it. I’ve got the booty, and I’ve got the beat. What’s the “je ne sais quoi” that I’m missing? Hmph.
Determined to investigate and report back.
