whoopie school

It’s Christmas time, and retailers have been trying to infuse everything from chicken nuggets to home repair with the holiday spirit. We wanted to bring some of that jolly joy to the bedroom, so we decided to come up with naughty sex ideas you can try. It could get you banned from Santa’s nice list, but they’re naughty enough to be a present in and of themselves. Happy holidays!

Red-Nosed Reindeer Ride – Everyone’s favorite reindeer is Rudolph, so why not pretend you’re going on a magical ride on his infamous red nose? To do so, she sits on his face facing his, er, package. She rides his face, using his nose for a little extra stimulation.

Roasting Chestnuts – Chestnuts roasting on an open fire conjure up a cozy image of seasonal cheer, but not everyone has a fireplace, or fresh chestnuts. The best chance to recreate this holiday delight is for her to pop a cinnamon Altoid in her mouth, warm and lube up her hands, and stroke him off while she suck on his balls just like Norman Rockwell would paint it.

Santa’s Lap – If you want to know if you’ve been naughty or nice this year, the best place to get your answer is to sit on Santa’s lap. If he hasn’t come to your town yet, use your partner. Sit on your partner’s lap, place him inside you, and ask if he thinks you’re a naughty girl. Ride him for his honest answer!

Jingle Bell Rocks Off – If you just haven’t gotten your fill of one-horse open sleighs, next time your going for an intimate ride, add some bells! They can be worn as a bracelet, anklet, or choker on either or both partners. Instead of caroling your neighbors, you can just jingle your joy their way.