Sex Resolution: Integrate Technology into Your Sex Life
We hate New Year’s resolutions. While we don’t have any problem with self-improvement, New Year’s resolutions always sound like things Catholics give up for lent, and are just generally un-fun. But in the spirit of the new year, we decided to come up with some sex resolutions that are positive, enjoyable, and totally doable. If at this point you’ve already abandoned going to the gym everyday or not eating a single carb, try out some of our sex resolutions instead. They will be easier to stick to and a whole lot more fun.
Sex Resolution #4: Integrate Technology into Your Sex Life
If you’re tech-phobic or just read a lot of sci-fi, you may be frightened at the thought of incorporating more technology into your sex life. There are definitely negative consequences to it. For example, recent studies show teenagers are rampantly “sexting,” couples prefer their laptops over lovemaking, and people will soon be having sex with robots. But there is an upside to technology, too, that can infuse some new energy into your sex life. And since we now spend so much time connected to one electronic device or another, you might as well figure out how to make it sexier than the iPhone. Technology provides a number of ways to get turned on, live out fantasies, and constantly communicate with your partner about your desire. If you haven’t incorporated technology in your sex life, 2009 might just be the year to do it.
- e-foreplay. Use email, texting, or IM/chat to send dirty messages or words of love to your partner. You can start to build desire and connection from any location, and act on it when you’re reunited again. You can also experiment with video chat, which is especially helpful for lovers doing the long-distance thing.
- Let out your inner voyeur/exhibitionist. The internet is chock full of erotic images, videos, and erotica writing of all tastes and genres to view and/or share with your partner. Or, if you want to get Web 2.0 with it, create your own images or videos to put up. Of course, take measures to protect your identity as needed, but let your inner exhibitionist free on sites like YouPorn or yuvutu.
- Check out the online sex scene. If you’re single or in a couple looking to open up your relationship, there is an active casual sex scene online. Sites like craigslist’s casual encounters, AdultFriendFinder, or Ashley Madison cater to no-strings-attached sex play. Communities like FetLife cater to fetish and BDSM lifestyles, while sites like Swingers Space cater to the swinging lifestyle.
- Have virtual sex.Virtual worlds such as Second Life offer a chance to create an online version of yourself called an avatar that can live out sexual fantasies in a safe, virtual environment. There is a lot of debate as to whether or not having virtual sex is cheating, so it’s best to be open about your online activities with your partner, and even share with him or her.
Tags: sex and technology, technology and sex, technology in sex life
January 8th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
While this is cute, I have to call you out on your implication that teenagers “sexting” is inherently a negative thing (among others). That very activity falls into line with at least one if not more of your suggestions below, e-foreplay, so tell me again why only those who’ve reached the (completely arbitrary and often ludicrously ill-informed) age of consent who engage in sexting is “negative” while you simultaneously encourage others to do it?
Sounds like faulty logic at best and ageism at worst, to me.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Thanks for your comment. My original intent in that line was to capture the broader fear in the media of the effects of technology on our sex lives. It isn’t a reflection of my opinions on teenage sexuality, though your comment made me reconsider how it was framed in the post. While I think “e-foreplay” is a natural extension of teenage sexual experimentation in one form or another, there is some merit to the concern that perhaps teenagers don’t fully understand the short- or long-term implications of sharing their sexuality in online public forums. Better sex education and media literacy is needed to address that concern, not terror-striking headlines reporting study findings.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Ah, fair enough.
Perhaps an edit with a note is worthwhile in your post, then, to better reflect your intentions and deter future confusion…because as the post stands now that is not clear (to me).
I won’t argue with that because it’s obvious that this is true. But to be fair, it’s also obvious that the vast majority of adults don’t understand the short- or long-term implications of sharing their sexuality in online public forums either, they just happen to have more pre-formed social inhibitors from doing so for many reasons. Does that make them better? No, it makes them ignorant, which makes them exactly not the people I want teaching teenagers how to behave online with regards to their sexuality.
Strongly, strongly seconded. But again, who should be leading this education becomes a concern. There is mandated (and pathetic) abstinence-only programs called “sex education” in some states, mindsets which flourish on adults’ denial of teenage sexuality. Not exactly what I have in mind when I think about how to exemplify healthy attitudes of sexual self-expression to teenagers, wouldn’t you say?
By the way, I found this post from your Twitter status.
January 10th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I agree. There’s a lot of ignorance when it comes to online identity. In this context, I think adults only have an advantage in so much as experience often gives you a better understanding of consequences over time. It’s harder for many teens to think long-term.
Yes! I think a lot of people blog about sexuality as a way to re-educate themselves, and hopefully others, because there aren’t a lot of functional sex education models, either in public education or in the home.