Sex Resolution: Be More Sexually Creative
We hate New Year’s resolutions. While we don’t have any problem with self-improvement, New Year’s resolutions always sound like things Catholics give up for Lent, and are just generally un-fun. But in the spirit of the New Year, we decided to come up with some sex resolutions that are positive, enjoyable, and totally doable. If at this point you’ve already abandoned going to the gym everyday or not eating a single carb, try out some of our sex resolutions instead. They will be easier to stick to and a whole lot more fun.
Sex Resolution #2: Be More Sexually Creative
If your sex life has become as bland as saltines, then it’s time to infuse some creativity into your lovemaking. It’s easy to get into a rut, especially when you learn your own and others’ magic buttons; sex then becomes a routine path from A to Orgasm without much meandering. But the scenic sex route can be exciting, explosive, and, let’s face it, a break from the monotony. In 2009, unleash your inner artist, explorer, revolutionary, or whatever creative sexual being you’ve hidden all those vanilla nights. Here’s how to be more creative in the bedroom:
- Look for inspiration. It’s okay to look to others for inspiration. If you’re the bookish type, head to the shelves for some erotica, romance novels, or a copy of the Kama Sutra. If you’re the voyeur type, get online and check out erotic photo galleries and videos. If you’re the hands-on type, visit a sex toy shop or leather store to get tactile on some toys and accessories that turn you on. The point is to find ways that your inner fantasies can and have been played out, and figure out what you want to experience.
- Talk, talk, talk. It’s time to have The Talk with your partner. The one in which you reveal that you have desires and curiosities beyond missionary with the lights out. Because it is highly likely that he/she does, too. Be gentle; go slowly; make it safe for both of you to reveal even the weirdest or silliest of fantasies. But talk about it; it’s the surest way to see anything actualized. If you’re currently not with someone, commit to being more honest and open in your next relationship. Don’t wait until the sex is stale to mention that you have a fetish.
- Be playful. Sex doesn’t have to be serious all the time. The more play and spontaneity you can integrate in your sex life, the more likely that creativity will just happen. Thinking and planning can work, but so can just doing what you feel in a safe moment.
- Compromise. While you may not be able to re-create the Gothic vampire sex scene that plays in your head, you can probably experiment with black lipstick, a collar, and dominant/submissive roles. Remember that fantasy is most powerful in your head, so if you have a partner that’s willing to meet you halfway, be thankful, and have fun.
