whoopie school

I read an interview this morning with a message worth reiterating, a million times over: you should feel good naked. The interview was with author Laure Redmond, who wrote “Feel Good Naked,” and the interview focuses on why women should enjoy their bodies as they are.  She says:

I just want women to feel good about their bodies so they can feel good about themselves — because when a woman feels good naked, it shows. She has an allure that comes through in the way she moves or talks or laughs. Her confidence isn’t rooted in her clothing size or facial features but in her attitude — fun, delightful, free.

The interview highlights the myriad of benefits to accepting and loving one’s body, including more confidence, a better sex life, a healthier relationship with food, and generally being more kind.

Did I mention a better sex life? Because sex is largely about feeling good naked, and that pleasure isn’t simply physiologically derived; it comes from feeling good about yourself and sharing who you are with someone who is equally crazy about you.

The article made me think of my mother, who wished that she had enjoyed her body more, “back when she was thin.” After nearly a lifetime of self-hatred, filled instead with every diet trend that occurred in the past 30 years, the real regret was that she spent so much time thinking she was fat, when in fact she would never be thinner. I also thought of numerous women I’ve known, all of them thin, who spend so much time agonizing about their weight and uncomfortable in their own skin. I try to remind myself of this whenever I succumb to body image insecurities. I don’t want to lose time to self-hatred.

One very thin woman said the other day, “My husband wants me to gain 10 pounds, but I think I need to lose 10 pounds.” Women have so bought into the notion that being thin is important, that the why is totally unclear at this point. One of the anecdotes in the article illustrates just how much value we place on being thin:

It’s the distorted sense that looks are everything. And women who view each other this way do a disservice to us all. When my sister and her husband were in the process of separating, at least two acquaintances reacted by telling her, in disbelief, “But you’re skinny!” — as if her physique should have cushioned her from heartache.

Asking yourself if you feel good naked is such an interesting barometer for self-image, because it’s not about if you are thin, fat, healthy, or fit. It is simply about if you can enjoy yourself in your most natural form. The alternative, of course, is spending the finite time you have hating yourself, or only valuing what you look like. I’ll take the former, and walk around naked.

Tags: bad body image, body image of women, distorted body image, negative body image, women’s body image