The 3 Anal Sex Personality Types

If anal play is what’s popular with the kids right now, how do all of us hip grown-ups go about doing it? Readers replied to my last post with questions on how to make anal part of the standard operating procedure. My tried-and-true approach is to always talk to my partner about my kinks and curiosities, but others forge a different path. All the anal adventurers I’ve ever encountered fall into three categories:

1. The Implier. The Implier casually mentions that his/her friend did it, typically when you’re on a date over dinner. S/he says something like, “I was talking to Dave the other day, and he told me this girl stuck her finger up his bum while she went down on him.” S/he then pauses for response.

• Pros: The Implier gets a sense of what his/her partner’s first reaction would be without suggesting that s/he’s into it.

• Cons: The Implier is a bit deceitful, and doesn’t learn how his/her partner would respond to an actual proposition to try something, as opposed to a friend’s story.

2. The Backdoor Knocker. This guy/gal just goes right for it, usually in the middle on an intimate moment. S/he sticks a finger in the bum, or starts rimming during oral, or (the worst) “slips”.

• Pros: The Backdoor Knocker may pleasantly surprise his/her partner. Many people associate anal play with being dirty or gay, so aren’t open to it when talked about. However, if someone dives right in, they might be surprised to find they like it.

• Cons: The Backdoor Knocker is sneaky and doesn’t show respect for the partner’s boundaries. The move could backfire in a big way.

3. The Talker. The Talker asks up front if his/her partner wants to give it a go. The Talker is good with direct, open conversations and is interested in his/her partner’s fantasies and boundaries.

• Pros: The Talker is good in relationships. Sharing fantasies and desires builds trust and can be a turn-on.

• Cons: The Talker could be all talk. Sometimes a couple can over-discuss an act to the point that the spontaneity and curiosity disappears, and then they’re back to missionary.

If you’re interested in experimenting with anal sex, your best bet is to be straight-forward with your partner about why it turns you on, and hopefully he or she is game for trying to form of anal play.